You're you. No matter what anyone else tells you, okay?
[he's trying to so hard to hold back how angry he is about it. it lights a fury in him, because mary is one of the nicest, mostly gentle and genuine people he's ever met. and maybe something about her ability could be considered monstrous; maybe somewhere, in some world, medusae are terrible creatures that need to be stopped.
but not mary.
definitely not mary, who tries so hard to just be. she wants to be herself, just a girl... it's something roxas actually can understand in a way that maybe others couldn't. but because of that, he feels so much more strongly about the idea of someone testing her identity like that. whoever this guy is, if roxas runs into him? it's gonna be bad news. he kind of wants to seek him out just to give him a piece of his mind.
he can't do that though, not right now. because he can't leave mary alone like this. he doesn't know how to bring her comfort, or how to assure her.]
Don't listen to them... to anyone who says you're not. You're Mary, you're not a monster, or a beast.
[ He may not know how to comfort her, or how to soothe the turmoil that rises up without warning, so thick and painful she thinks she could choke on it. But he's here. He's here, and his hand is still clutching hers, and even if he's said it before... even if he shouldn't have to say it again-- the way he says it, with fierce conviction, like there's no room for argument, is what helps her.
He... seems angry. Is it her imagination? She can't remember seeing Roxas like this before. Worried, yes. Serious, in a battle. But not like this.
She scrubs at her eyes one last time, blinks back the tears, because no. He doesn't need to see her cry any more today. She really has worried him, more than enough. ]
Roxas... [ It's all she says, somewhat helplessly, because there really are no words to express everything she wants to say. She'd just stumble over them anyway.
[he draws in a quiet breath; he's definitely still angry. but because he can't just leave her here to seek out the person that would call her a monster and say things that so deliberately would hurt her... he has to calm down.
it's hard though, because roxas isn't good at holding back what he feels.
it'd upset her to let that show too much though, right? he can handle figuring out the rest of it on his own time. so he doesn't say anything for now, just giving her hand another reassuring squeeze. he's pretty sure this is all he even can do, anyway. he's so far out of his league when it comes to dealing with other people's emotions. he's ill-equipped for it in every regard, so what little he does now has to suffice.]
[ It takes several quietly deep breaths to ease that heavy urge to cry out of her body, and with every inhale comes the memory of a promise-- the exhale, their linked pinkies. He'd been with her for each and every one of those promises, and the gentle pressure against her fingers is a firm reminder: she's not alone.
Right now, with Roxas, she can be Mary without having to try. ]
... [ One more breath, and she squeezes back, offering him a tremulous smile. ]
[it eases his tension a bit to see her smile—it's the kind of smile that doesn't come off as being forced, even if there's some emotion there that roxas can't quite place.]
I was just telling the truth... the way I see it. [what he feels. but it's hard for him to say that right now, because it brings up those existential thoughts about what he does and doesn't feel. or what it even means. he does feel strongly in that way, that what he says is the truth... and that whatever styx said to hurt her like this.
it's complicated, but isn't everything? if she can be even a little better and feel a little better, then... he's done okay as her friend, right? that's what he thinks is important for himself here.]
People might see things differently from you. [ No, they definitely would. Her first and second encounters with humans had shown her that much. Not all people viewed things the same way, and it was why she had been extremely hesitant to explain to anyone what she was.
It's okay now, though. She lowers her eyes to their hands, pensive; maybe she ought to let go, but truthfully, she doesn't want to. This is the most secure she's felt in days. It's a thought that strengthens her smile, even if it trembles, falters slightly at the edges, because she's still so worn down from everything. Crying hadn't really helped, either.
But it really is okay, right now. ]
... But I think I like the way you see me the best.
I just... don't think there's another way to look at it. You're you. What else would you be?
[it's a very simplistic way of stating that even if those things are part of her, they don't really define her. but roxas doesn't really have the right words to convey that though. he's trying but... he comes up a bit short.
it feels like she's trying, too. he doesn't quite catch the way she looks at their hands—honestly, he's not even thinking about the fact that he's still holding it at this point. it's a gesture meant to help her, so until she feels okay... he's not even really considering it. oops.]
[ The monster that lives in the forest. The biggest one, and for a moment, she can recall a very faint voice, one she can't quite recognize, hissing queen... but it makes something twist tightly in her chest, until she presses her palm there to quiet it.
For as much as she'd hated losing her memories, some things are better left discarded in nightmares. ]
It just seems like... no, people haven't gotten that before. I've been really lucky here.
So when you say things like that, it makes me really happy.
[ Tired or not, sad or not, there's genuine happiness warming her from his acknowledgment. ]
[at least, he thinks so. but he's not really sure where to go from here, honestly. he's so bad at this.] You should get to be happy, even if things are tough here sometimes.
[it's simple in some ways. she doesn't really need to know right now just how messed up he is, and how every day is kind of an existential crisis for him.]
Make sure you tell them that, okay? I mean... I don't mind hearing it, but you have a lot of friends. [or at least more than he does, which automatically qualifies as "a lot" to this kid.]
I'll definitely tell them. [ Firmly-- maybe more determined than she's sounded for quite some time, but that's what happens when you lose your memories of your friends. ]
[ Sorry your friend is easily prone to crying fits, Roxas! Mary offers him a somewhat rueful smile, before she has to let go of his hand (finally) to toss the ice cream stick (sadly not a winner) away. This accomplished, she pats down her apron and sucks in a quick breath. ]
... Somehow, I'm still really tired.
[ She does look better, though. Getting a chance to talk about (almost) everything that's been weighing on her has done wonders. ]
[ Jogging a block is pushing herself too hard, she's gotta improve! ]
Yeah... but there's a lot I still have to do. [ Her other friends, making amends... she wonders, briefly, about talking to Styx, but she's also not completely sure she's ready for that yet. ]
[ A little nod, looking back out at the view. It feels strange, that she is so tired... a lot's happened, but the exhaustion that's gnawing away at her right now doesn't make much sense. It's almost like the lethargy she'd felt when she'd had that fever from the mountains, but she shouldn't be sick.
Ah, well. Maybe dozing off will help, and if Roxas is going to be there... they can talk some more afterwards.
So Mary's just going to plop herself down. On the floor. She's got her jacket to use as a blanket, and she'll deal without a pillow, it's fine. ]
[he hopes it'll help. he knows she's pretty upset about things, and roxas doesn't want her to make things worse by pushing things too hard. he's prepared to just hang out and think about things for a while, but when he realizes she's just going to lay on the floor like that... that seems like a bad idea.]
Mary, wait...!
[hold on!! he'll shift in order to take off his coat. which reveals that despite what it looks like—glove, boots and all—he's just wearing regular clothes underneath. but that's not important right now. he folds it up (or he tries, but it's mostly just kind of a crumpled ball of fabric).]
Roxas... [ Mary blinks, looking from the coat to Roxas, and back to the coat again... before she smiles at him and reaches forward to take it and place it very carefully on the ground. He really is an amazing friend, isn't he? ]
Thank you. Don't let me sleep too long, okay?
[ Because now she's got his coat, and he'll need that back. She'd feel a little guilty about this, maybe, but it's oddly easy to curl up and rest her head on the pile of fabric. ]
[he doesn't really mind, since it's not like he uses the coat for warmth anyway. it's for protection from darkness; as long as he's not using a corridor, it's fine.]
Yeah. I'll wake you up in a little bit. I have work later anyway, so it's not like I can stay here all day. [it's still a while away, but he wouldn't just leave her to sleep if he could be there to make sure everything was okay. either way, now he can sit down and settle in until it's time to wake mary up.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
coexistent) wrote2015-07-03 05:05 pm
no subject
[he's trying to so hard to hold back how angry he is about it. it lights a fury in him, because mary is one of the nicest, mostly gentle and genuine people he's ever met. and maybe something about her ability could be considered monstrous; maybe somewhere, in some world, medusae are terrible creatures that need to be stopped.
but not mary.
definitely not mary, who tries so hard to just be. she wants to be herself, just a girl... it's something roxas actually can understand in a way that maybe others couldn't. but because of that, he feels so much more strongly about the idea of someone testing her identity like that. whoever this guy is, if roxas runs into him? it's gonna be bad news. he kind of wants to seek him out just to give him a piece of his mind.
he can't do that though, not right now. because he can't leave mary alone like this. he doesn't know how to bring her comfort, or how to assure her.]
Don't listen to them... to anyone who says you're not. You're Mary, you're not a monster, or a beast.
[he's so mad. he's so mad.]
no subject
He... seems angry. Is it her imagination? She can't remember seeing Roxas like this before. Worried, yes. Serious, in a battle. But not like this.
She scrubs at her eyes one last time, blinks back the tears, because no. He doesn't need to see her cry any more today. She really has worried him, more than enough. ]
Roxas... [ It's all she says, somewhat helplessly, because there really are no words to express everything she wants to say. She'd just stumble over them anyway.
Thank you for always seeing me as me.
Thank you for caring.
Thank you for just... being. ]
no subject
it's hard though, because roxas isn't good at holding back what he feels.
it'd upset her to let that show too much though, right? he can handle figuring out the rest of it on his own time. so he doesn't say anything for now, just giving her hand another reassuring squeeze. he's pretty sure this is all he even can do, anyway. he's so far out of his league when it comes to dealing with other people's emotions. he's ill-equipped for it in every regard, so what little he does now has to suffice.]
no subject
Right now, with Roxas, she can be Mary without having to try. ]
... [ One more breath, and she squeezes back, offering him a tremulous smile. ]
Thank you.
no subject
I was just telling the truth... the way I see it. [what he feels. but it's hard for him to say that right now, because it brings up those existential thoughts about what he does and doesn't feel. or what it even means. he does feel strongly in that way, that what he says is the truth... and that whatever styx said to hurt her like this.
it's complicated, but isn't everything? if she can be even a little better and feel a little better, then... he's done okay as her friend, right? that's what he thinks is important for himself here.]
no subject
It's okay now, though. She lowers her eyes to their hands, pensive; maybe she ought to let go, but truthfully, she doesn't want to. This is the most secure she's felt in days. It's a thought that strengthens her smile, even if it trembles, falters slightly at the edges, because she's still so worn down from everything. Crying hadn't really helped, either.
But it really is okay, right now. ]
... But I think I like the way you see me the best.
no subject
[it's a very simplistic way of stating that even if those things are part of her, they don't really define her. but roxas doesn't really have the right words to convey that though. he's trying but... he comes up a bit short.
it feels like she's trying, too. he doesn't quite catch the way she looks at their hands—honestly, he's not even thinking about the fact that he's still holding it at this point. it's a gesture meant to help her, so until she feels okay... he's not even really considering it. oops.]
no subject
For as much as she'd hated losing her memories, some things are better left discarded in nightmares. ]
It just seems like... no, people haven't gotten that before. I've been really lucky here.
So when you say things like that, it makes me really happy.
[ Tired or not, sad or not, there's genuine happiness warming her from his acknowledgment. ]
no subject
[at least, he thinks so. but he's not really sure where to go from here, honestly. he's so bad at this.] You should get to be happy, even if things are tough here sometimes.
no subject
[ Even if for Roxas, it really only seems to take ice cream. ]
no subject
Make sure you tell them that, okay? I mean... I don't mind hearing it, but you have a lot of friends. [or at least more than he does, which automatically qualifies as "a lot" to this kid.]
no subject
no subject
[he's glad to hear it, honestly. he prefers this—mary being a little more determined, rather than crying. it eases a lot of his own worries this way.]
no subject
... Somehow, I'm still really tired.
[ She does look better, though. Getting a chance to talk about (almost) everything that's been weighing on her has done wonders. ]
no subject
Maybe you should get some rest... it's been a tough week. [don't push yourself too hard, mary...]
no subject
Yeah... but there's a lot I still have to do. [ Her other friends, making amends... she wonders, briefly, about talking to Styx, but she's also not completely sure she's ready for that yet. ]
no subject
[he doesn't want her to push herself too hard!!] Maybe it'll be easier to do that after some rest. Even if it's just for a little while.
no subject
no subject
[he'll stick around, it doesn't bother him.]
no subject
Isn't that going to be boring for you? [ Unless he's tired, too... ]
no subject
[he's still a little sleepy, but it's not on the level of mary's exhaustion, clearly.]
no subject
[ A little nod, looking back out at the view. It feels strange, that she is so tired... a lot's happened, but the exhaustion that's gnawing away at her right now doesn't make much sense. It's almost like the lethargy she'd felt when she'd had that fever from the mountains, but she shouldn't be sick.
Ah, well. Maybe dozing off will help, and if Roxas is going to be there... they can talk some more afterwards.
So Mary's just going to plop herself down. On the floor. She's got her jacket to use as a blanket, and she'll deal without a pillow, it's fine. ]
no subject
Mary, wait...!
[hold on!! he'll shift in order to take off his coat. which reveals that despite what it looks like—glove, boots and all—he's just wearing regular clothes underneath. but that's not important right now. he folds it up (or he tries, but it's mostly just kind of a crumpled ball of fabric).]
Here... for your head. [a makeshift pillow.]
no subject
Thank you. Don't let me sleep too long, okay?
[ Because now she's got his coat, and he'll need that back. She'd feel a little guilty about this, maybe, but it's oddly easy to curl up and rest her head on the pile of fabric. ]
no subject
Yeah. I'll wake you up in a little bit. I have work later anyway, so it's not like I can stay here all day. [it's still a while away, but he wouldn't just leave her to sleep if he could be there to make sure everything was okay. either way, now he can sit down and settle in until it's time to wake mary up.]
(no subject)
(no subject)