[Patience usually isn't his strong point, but he recognizes when someone's having trouble talking about something and because Roxas is a friend...he waits. He lets him talk, processing carefully. He can believe all of that. He can buy Roxas being a zombie and not knowing things back then because of his lack of understanding of a lot of things now. He wants to ask who "him" is, but...maybe it doesn't matter. It's the guy Roxas was born from, but he's not Roxas. He's not his friend. So...it doesn't matter.]
Maybe it's not worth remembering if they're not really your memories. What's the point when you can make your own, you know? [Another bite of ice cream.] But...what did you find out anyway?
Yeah. I still want to know a lot of things. But now... after a lot happened, I don't think I want to know that other "me."
[it's something he's struggled with for a while—wanting to know more about sora, wanting to know why he was burdened with the keyblade, wanting to know how and why he has to exist.
but in cerealia, things are a bit different. he has friends that have nothing to do with the organization, the heartless, or that past self. he has a job he has fun with, he has things to look forward to and be excited about, and he has things to fight for that are his own.
the more time he spends away from that life, the more he realizes he doesn't need it. his own best friends had betrayed him or left him; he had nothing to go back to and with all the lies that had been told, would he even want to? he can go to any world he can learn how to get to on his own anyway—so with friends like mary and hiro, he'd much rather press forward and fight for that cause. for his own life, for his own memories... for being himself.]
What I found out, though...
It's true, that Nobodies are born without hearts. We had a reason to fight for them... so we could really exist and have a place to belong. [he sucks in a breath, and then more quietly adds:]
He told me that the body tries to replace a heart is lost, though. That... even though I didn't have one before... Now, I do. Even though my boss and all the other Nobodies said we still didn't. All of us...
[which, for all intents and purposes is a good thing, but it's also a really heavy topic and one he still hasn't totally come to terms with. it's kind of a big deal to learn that everything you've ever known isn't quite true, and something you'd been trained from your earliest memory to attain has been there in a place you couldn't see right inside of you.]
[That makes sense. Roxas discovering he has a heart...he thinks he understands enough. He understands what it's like to believe one thing only to have that disproven. It's enough to make anyone's head spin and he can understand why it's such a big deal for his friend.
He doesn't know how many Nobodies Roxas is speaking for, but it sounds like quite a few. He considers that quietly before he speaks in a quieter tone.]
...in a way? Guess that makes sense. [Another small nibble to his ice cream.] Did you know that some species of starfish can regrow a missing limb? Some can even regrow their whole body just from one single limb. They don't have to have anything else. They can regrow a whole new starfish just from one piece and become something else. You--[He points at Roxas with his ice cream then.]--are kinda like that.
[...and he smiles lightly.] On a scale of one to ten, how freaked out are you by learning all of this? How'd you even find out?
I'm... like a starfish? [he understands what hiro is saying, even if he's never seen a starfish and legitimately had no idea what was even possible that they could anything like it.
so it's... maybe a strange comparison, even if it's not wrong. there's something out there that can grow body parts and regain what's lost so... that means he's no so strange in some way, right?
there's something oddly assuring about it. the fact that hiro says it so easily and without doubting his words even though it seems ridiculous and hard to believe speaks volumes to him too—would many other people have been that understanding of it? roxas isn't sure, but it makes him feel incredibly thankful to have a friend like that, someone who just accepts him for who he is, rather than who is isn't or who he's "supposed" to be.]
Riku told me—he's seen more of where we're from than I have. ["from" is a loose statement, but roxas knows that he's sora's nobody, which means that riku is someone who has a deep investment in the situation.] He's a jerk, but I know he wouldn't lie about it.
[he laughs a little, almost bitterly; his feelings about riku are really complicated.] I'm still trying to figure out what comes next, now that I know it, honestly.
[It's a strange comparison, but like most things Hiro understands things through science. Science has taught him that creatures adapt and develop mechanisms to help them adapt, like starfish being able to regenerate. Roxas has learned to adapt, too, even if he doesn't know he has.
It's easy to take all of this at face value because truthfully, he never really doubted that his friend was his own person and should only be just that. So he nods. Yep. Starfish.
He can't help but lift his eyebrows again at the mention of Riku's name, wondering what else the older boy was hiding from people.]
Doesn't surprise me. Riku's made it sound like he's seen a lot of things. I knew you guys were from the same place but never knew how you knew each other. [And clearly it was never important enough to ask. He makes a face, leaning back on the bench and staring out in front of them for a moment.] …isn't the next thing just to keep doing what you were doing in the first place? Building your own life here with your own memories and learning everything you can. Knowing you've got a heart...what's left to stop you?
I don't know him that well, but... Riku is his friend.
[sora's, but it's a name roxas doesn't feel like saying—it doesn't really matter.
either way, he falls silent for a moment at hiro's question. what's left to stop him? it's not really as easy as it seems to just answer that.]
Maybe not much here but... There's still a lot. A lot I don't know about myself, or where I'm from. [even if he feels really bitter about the organization and where he's "from," and naturally the concerns of spilling organization secrets biting him in the ass later—he can't really ignore some things.
like why he really has the keyblade. sure, he's sora's nobody but what about the fact that he's always been able to use it? and what was the deal with ventus? there's still a lot he needs to know.]
I guess I'm just trying to figure all of that out, that's all. [he's not totally down in the dumps about it, at least. he's just still pretty overwhelmed and confused by it; having friends like hiro is making coping a lot easier, though.]
[There's an almost silent "oh" following that. Right. Okay, that's fair. Not everyone wants to really bother getting to know the friends of the people they're closely associated with. And it's true. There's a lot left for Roxas to learn but at the same time--]
Well...that's what you've got us for, right? I don't know how we're gonna do it, but we'll figure it out and we'll do it together. It's stupid to make you figure it out by yourself. [Hm.] Who else knows besides me anyway?
[it's not an unsure or displeased agreement—it's mostly a surprised and maybe slightly overwhelmed one. roxas isn't used to it—people so freely offering that kind of support and offering to help him.
how many things did he have to figure out on his own? how many times did his own friends leave him so far in the dark that he had no choice but to strike on on his own in order to get anywhere? it's all new to him.]
Not many people. Mary knows... Riku and Naminé too. That's it, though.
[As far as Hiro's concerned, nobody should have to deal with stuff like this on their own. (Except for himself because if nothing else, Hiro Hamada is a huge hypocrite.) Those names make sense and he's nodding along--right up until that last one.]
No. [He's shaking his head suddenly.] No, I've met her. I helped her out in her first game. I just didn't know she knew you.
[...there's suddenly a lot of things about his conversation with Naminé that make more sense and less sense.] So she's a Nobody, too. Just how many of you guys are there?
[hiro always seems to know a lot of people, so it probably should be all that strange to roxas that he knows naminé.]
Ones like us... I guess there were fifteen before, but when I left there were eight, and naminé... so nine. [but he should add:] There are a lot of Nobodies though, but most of them don't look or act like humans. They told me we're really strong because we didn't lose our "form," or whatever.
They're more like the Heartless or whatever then? [That's the part that's hard to understand, but he can roll with it. He doesn't even want to ask about what happened to the missing Nobodies (he can pretty much guess anyway.] Not that it matters much. Just means you're special in that case.
[There's a pause.] ...I know this is pretty hard to figure out. But I'm glad you told me.
Yeah, I guess they're kind of like Heartless that way.
[it's not exactly the same, but he could liken the lesser nobodies to that. shadows and dusks weren't all that different in terms of numbers, they were the most basic form, though even dusks had a better sense of self than shadows did.
either way, roxas shakes his head a bit.] We're friends, right? So... It didn't feel right for you to not know the truth.
[If he's surprised by the question, he doesn't let it show.] Of course we're friends, dude. Don't ever question that.
[It's just that sometimes friends hide things from friends. So...this is nice, he thinks. He grins though to defuse the situation a little and make it a more relaxed atmosphere.] Anything else I should know about you? Any other weird tastes like sea salt ice cream?
[the question was meant to be a little more rhetorical, but roxas doesn't mind. having it confirmed so definitively definitely makes him feel a bit better, if nothing else.]
I don't think so... [he scrunches his nose, but he lets out a little laugh. then, sarcastically:] I'm not that weird, you know.
Bummer. I've started to really like making friends with the weird ones. [He shrugs, but he laughs anyway because it's nice to joke about this kind of stuff. Roxas is still Roxas. That's the most important part to him.] Now that we've got all of the really serious stuff out of the way...we should celebrate or something.
Why not? [It's a very sincere question.] Aren't people always saying that life is worth celebrating or whatever? I think finding out you really are greater than you thought you were is worth celebrating, too. Dunno what we'll do but it doesn't hurt.
My aunt used to find reasons to celebrate things. [They were big things like Hiro getting into SFIT or Hiro actually going outside after Tadashi's death, but they were still just...things.] And anyway never really doing it is all the more reason to do it. Maybe we'll finally make time to go to the beach.
[it sounds like a good idea. the beach is somewhere he's wanted to go for a while, and if he has friends to share that with—well, then it really is like a celebration, isn't it?]
That sounds like a good idea... as long as nothing else goes too wrong around here. [it's been pretty tough to even try to do fun things for that exact reason.]
We really should start tracking when bad things go wrong around here and see if there's a pattern or something. If we know when to expect it, we can work around it and bail and come back before it happens. Either that or we only go for a day.
[There's a shrug to respond to both of Roxas's statements/questions. He thinks there's probably some pattern if this place really is running mostly on code. Code always has a pattern. As for the rest...well.]
Baymax can fly pretty fast. We...could probably maybe get there in a day and spend another day at the beach and then a day coming back? Think that's too much?
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coexistent) wrote2015-07-03 05:05 pm
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Maybe it's not worth remembering if they're not really your memories. What's the point when you can make your own, you know? [Another bite of ice cream.] But...what did you find out anyway?
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[it's something he's struggled with for a while—wanting to know more about sora, wanting to know why he was burdened with the keyblade, wanting to know how and why he has to exist.
but in cerealia, things are a bit different. he has friends that have nothing to do with the organization, the heartless, or that past self. he has a job he has fun with, he has things to look forward to and be excited about, and he has things to fight for that are his own.
the more time he spends away from that life, the more he realizes he doesn't need it. his own best friends had betrayed him or left him; he had nothing to go back to and with all the lies that had been told, would he even want to? he can go to any world he can learn how to get to on his own anyway—so with friends like mary and hiro, he'd much rather press forward and fight for that cause. for his own life, for his own memories... for being himself.]
What I found out, though...
It's true, that Nobodies are born without hearts. We had a reason to fight for them... so we could really exist and have a place to belong. [he sucks in a breath, and then more quietly adds:]
He told me that the body tries to replace a heart is lost, though. That... even though I didn't have one before... Now, I do. Even though my boss and all the other Nobodies said we still didn't. All of us...
[which, for all intents and purposes is a good thing, but it's also a really heavy topic and one he still hasn't totally come to terms with. it's kind of a big deal to learn that everything you've ever known isn't quite true, and something you'd been trained from your earliest memory to attain has been there in a place you couldn't see right inside of you.]
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He doesn't know how many Nobodies Roxas is speaking for, but it sounds like quite a few. He considers that quietly before he speaks in a quieter tone.]
...in a way? Guess that makes sense. [Another small nibble to his ice cream.] Did you know that some species of starfish can regrow a missing limb? Some can even regrow their whole body just from one single limb. They don't have to have anything else. They can regrow a whole new starfish just from one piece and become something else. You--[He points at Roxas with his ice cream then.]--are kinda like that.
[...and he smiles lightly.] On a scale of one to ten, how freaked out are you by learning all of this? How'd you even find out?
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so it's... maybe a strange comparison, even if it's not wrong. there's something out there that can grow body parts and regain what's lost so... that means he's no so strange in some way, right?
there's something oddly assuring about it. the fact that hiro says it so easily and without doubting his words even though it seems ridiculous and hard to believe speaks volumes to him too—would many other people have been that understanding of it? roxas isn't sure, but it makes him feel incredibly thankful to have a friend like that, someone who just accepts him for who he is, rather than who is isn't or who he's "supposed" to be.]
Riku told me—he's seen more of where we're from than I have. ["from" is a loose statement, but roxas knows that he's sora's nobody, which means that riku is someone who has a deep investment in the situation.] He's a jerk, but I know he wouldn't lie about it.
[he laughs a little, almost bitterly; his feelings about riku are really complicated.] I'm still trying to figure out what comes next, now that I know it, honestly.
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It's easy to take all of this at face value because truthfully, he never really doubted that his friend was his own person and should only be just that. So he nods. Yep. Starfish.
He can't help but lift his eyebrows again at the mention of Riku's name, wondering what else the older boy was hiding from people.]
Doesn't surprise me. Riku's made it sound like he's seen a lot of things. I knew you guys were from the same place but never knew how you knew each other. [And clearly it was never important enough to ask. He makes a face, leaning back on the bench and staring out in front of them for a moment.] …isn't the next thing just to keep doing what you were doing in the first place? Building your own life here with your own memories and learning everything you can. Knowing you've got a heart...what's left to stop you?
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[sora's, but it's a name roxas doesn't feel like saying—it doesn't really matter.
either way, he falls silent for a moment at hiro's question. what's left to stop him? it's not really as easy as it seems to just answer that.]
Maybe not much here but... There's still a lot. A lot I don't know about myself, or where I'm from. [even if he feels really bitter about the organization and where he's "from," and naturally the concerns of spilling organization secrets biting him in the ass later—he can't really ignore some things.
like why he really has the keyblade. sure, he's sora's nobody but what about the fact that he's always been able to use it? and what was the deal with ventus? there's still a lot he needs to know.]
I guess I'm just trying to figure all of that out, that's all. [he's not totally down in the dumps about it, at least. he's just still pretty overwhelmed and confused by it; having friends like hiro is making coping a lot easier, though.]
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Well...that's what you've got us for, right? I don't know how we're gonna do it, but we'll figure it out and we'll do it together. It's stupid to make you figure it out by yourself. [Hm.] Who else knows besides me anyway?
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[it's not an unsure or displeased agreement—it's mostly a surprised and maybe slightly overwhelmed one. roxas isn't used to it—people so freely offering that kind of support and offering to help him.
how many things did he have to figure out on his own? how many times did his own friends leave him so far in the dark that he had no choice but to strike on on his own in order to get anywhere? it's all new to him.]
Not many people. Mary knows... Riku and Naminé too. That's it, though.
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--Naminé?
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She hasn't been here that long, but she's someone who knows me from before here. [she knows him, but he doesn't know her. it's complicated.]
But... she's like me, so I needed to tell her, too.
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[...there's suddenly a lot of things about his conversation with Naminé that make more sense and less sense.] So she's a Nobody, too. Just how many of you guys are there?
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[hiro always seems to know a lot of people, so it probably should be all that strange to roxas that he knows naminé.]
Ones like us... I guess there were fifteen before, but when I left there were eight, and naminé... so nine. [but he should add:] There are a lot of Nobodies though, but most of them don't look or act like humans. They told me we're really strong because we didn't lose our "form," or whatever.
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They're more like the Heartless or whatever then? [That's the part that's hard to understand, but he can roll with it. He doesn't even want to ask about what happened to the missing Nobodies (he can pretty much guess anyway.] Not that it matters much. Just means you're special in that case.
[There's a pause.] ...I know this is pretty hard to figure out. But I'm glad you told me.
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[it's not exactly the same, but he could liken the lesser nobodies to that. shadows and dusks weren't all that different in terms of numbers, they were the most basic form, though even dusks had a better sense of self than shadows did.
either way, roxas shakes his head a bit.] We're friends, right? So... It didn't feel right for you to not know the truth.
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[It's just that sometimes friends hide things from friends. So...this is nice, he thinks. He grins though to defuse the situation a little and make it a more relaxed atmosphere.] Anything else I should know about you? Any other weird tastes like sea salt ice cream?
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I don't think so... [he scrunches his nose, but he lets out a little laugh. then, sarcastically:] I'm not that weird, you know.
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[he takes hiro's joke in stride just fine, but that suggestion is one that earns a tilted head.
...was there something about this worth celebrating?]
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[he... never really thought of that.] I've never really celebrated a lot of things before, so I never thought about it.
[it sounds like fun, though.]
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[it sounds like a good idea. the beach is somewhere he's wanted to go for a while, and if he has friends to share that with—well, then it really is like a celebration, isn't it?]
That sounds like a good idea... as long as nothing else goes too wrong around here. [it's been pretty tough to even try to do fun things for that exact reason.]
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[when people arrive seems to have a little bit on consistency, but he's not sure he can say the same for the other things.]
Do you really think we could go there in a day? [well, roxas can on his own, but what about everyone else?]
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Baymax can fly pretty fast. We...could probably maybe get there in a day and spend another day at the beach and then a day coming back? Think that's too much?
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